PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Randomize
