I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
