I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
