Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
