So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Non-Jews are for practice
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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