Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
