Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Randomize
