He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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