you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
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