oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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