dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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