I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Randomize
