whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
i think my tv is drunk
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
