She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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