He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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