Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
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