New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
