she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
