Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Randomize