The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize
