There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
