is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Randomize
