do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
