two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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