And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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