My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
My balls are so social today.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
