so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
