So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
