Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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