she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
