Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
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