My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
