Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
