ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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