I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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