am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
