Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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