I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
