i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
