dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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