69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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