my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Actions speak louder than pants.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
