What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
