yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
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