He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
