Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
He better not be in your backpack
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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