But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
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