his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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