It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
You can't just leave with hair like that
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
