youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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