i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
My vagina just recognized that song.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
We need to feng shui this bitch.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
