Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
