Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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