Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
