I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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