So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
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